at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
