Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
