do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
