Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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