i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
