WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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