dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize