there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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