Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm eating all of the evidence.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
