That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
