ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
