wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
