I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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