She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
