i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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