there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
