Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
