She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i barfeds in our rink
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
