Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
