I hope mine doesn't look like that
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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