I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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