I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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