He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
