I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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