therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
