i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize