Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
