he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
