I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
