I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize