He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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