But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
