dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
