whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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