i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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