P.S. I can't hear my feet
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
