Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
