Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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