Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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