you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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