There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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