honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
