I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
