I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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