You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
