Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
