I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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