why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
