Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dropdeadbl4k3 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.

Fav 55 1538 3693
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.

Fav 8 4334 1521
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

Fav 7 1367 3561
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?

Fav 8 2054 1340
share tweet
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.

Fav 17 1348 2710
share tweet
(602): View more from Arizona

Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.

Fav 2 1139 939
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.

Fav 4 992 646
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Ontario

I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment

Fav 1 161 271
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.

Fav 0 25 62
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT