Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
