and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
