Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Randomize