I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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