does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
