My liver just broke up with me...
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
