is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
