And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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