Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
