I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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