Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
